This was a creative writing essay for 7th grade English. The assignment was that we were trapped somewhere, and only had three things in our pocket.
I really got into this one. I decided that one of the "things" in my pocket was actually a little ten centimeter man, and went from there. As usual, the amount I wrote far exceeded the actual assignment. I stuck with this for a few days, but I wasn't getting any of the rest of my homework done so I eventually gave up on this, and just tacked on an ending half finished.
This is my first attempt at writing humor, and as you can see the results are mixed. The jokes are really run into the ground. I'd like to think that's just how 7th graders write humor, but maybe it's just me.
Nevertheless, I like this because it is the first piece of writing I have that shows any sense of pacing. Of not rushing on to finish the story, but simply taking my time and enjoying the scene for what it is.
I'm locked in the boy's bathroom. In my pockets are a ball of yarn, a phaser stuck on stun (how I got it is a long story) and a ten centimeter person named Jim.
Jim is a nice, short, good-looking sort of guy. He's a little on the weird side, but most of his midget friends (and me) are willing to overlook that. He has a T.V. show he never misses that's called, "If Midgets Ruled the World." He carries a jackknife everywhere he goes to combat large hungry spiders.
It was Saturday the 14th. Yesterday my friend David mysteriously disappeared after study hall. (For more on that, ask him to read his, "Help, I'm trapped in English class," essay to you.) Detectives had come to search the school for clues and I was one of the many people who came to watch the excitement. Just when everyone was leaving, I had to go to the bathroom. After I did, I found that some smart aleck had locked me in. I called for help, but everybody had left the school.
I leaned against the wall and wondered what jerk had done this to me. As I thought, Jim poked his head out and said in a mocking tone, "Clean your pockets. It stinks down here."
"If you don't like it you can get out," I said, picking him out of my pocket and tossing him up in the air. He landed in a toilet. There was a temptation to flush him down, but I didn't. Instead I helped him out and gave him a paper towel to dry off with.
"You threw me in the toilet on purpose," he angrily accused.
"No I didn't," I said. "I just threw you up in the air. I didn't know where you were going to land. Honest! No hard feelings I hope."
Jim shook himself. "No, I guess not," he replied. "I just wish people would flush this toilet once and a while. May I have another paper towel please?"
"Here, have two," I said as I handed him the paper towels. "We've got to find a way to get out of here."
"Good point," said Jim. "I'm missing my T.V. show."
"It's not for three more hours yet," I pointed out.
"That's how long it might take us to get out," Jim moaned.
"Well then, let's try and get out," I said. We both tried to think of a way to get out. I looked at my surroundings. Two toilets and two sinks were there, and a box of paper towels and a box of kleenexes. A window was three meters up, but even if you got up to it, it was too small to crawl through. I looked at the window, and I looked at Jim (who was still drying himself off) and suddenly a great idea hit me.
I explained it to Jim. "No way," exclaimed Jim as he backed away from me. "I hate heights and , and I could get hurt."
"Fine," I said. "Of course if we don't hurry up and get out, you might miss your T.V. show."
"Let's hurry up and get on with your plan," said Jim excitedly with a hint of reluctance in his voice.
I should explain that my plan is to tie one end of my ball of yarn to Jim's leg. Then throw Jim on the window sill, have him open the window and jump out. He will dangle by the piece of yarn. Then I will slowly lower him down. Once he gets down, he will cut the yarn off his leg and run to get help.
I just finished tying yarn to Jim's leg and was ready to proceed with the rest of my plan when Jim stopped me. "Don't you think we should test how good of a hold this rope has on me?" asked Jim.
"It's yarn Jim not rope," I said. "But I guess you're right about trying it out."
I held a bit of the yarn and let Jim dangle. "I guess it works pretty good," I said, no sooner had the words escaped my lips when Jim's leg slipped through the knot and Jim hit the floor. "Looks like we'll have to make that knot tighter," I said.
"Another sigh that we're dealing with pure brilliance," said Jim sarcastically.
"Listen, do you want to get out or not?" I asked. I finished re-tying the yarn around Jim's leg. "Besides that wasn't funny," I added.
"There, that knot's finished," I said. "Let's try it out." I let Jim dangle and once again the knot failed us and Jim met the floor. I tied the knot again. "There," I said proudly. "I'd like to see that come undone." It came undone. I tried again. "That definitely will hold," I said. "There's no way that will come undone." Guess what happened. I then tied the knot real tight.
"Ouch! Ouch! Stop that! You're cutting off my circulation," protested Jim. "Ouch!"
"Jim calm down," I said. "We got to get it tight or you'll slip right through the knot and hit the floor."
"That part I know," said Jim. "Ouch! Don't tie that stupid, dumb, idiotic knot so tight."
"Let's test this knot now!" I said.
"I hope this works, complained Jim. Call me cranky if you like, but I'm tired of falling into the hard floor."
We tested the yarn and it worked. Then Jim said, "I don't think I want to do this."
"What?" I exclaimed. "Don't tell me you're getting cold feet now."
"Well, all the tests were I slipped through the yarn made me think that I could slip through the yarn three meters up."
"You're being a wimp," I said.
"I don't care," said Jim. "I'm still not going to do it."
"I'll flush you down the toilet."
"I don't care."
"I'll never give you another piece of food."
"I don't care."
"I'll put you in my pocket and won't let any part of you out."
"I don't care."
"You'll miss your T.V. show."
"On second thought I'll take a risk and try your plan," said Jim, forcing a smile.
I picked Jim up and looked at the window. I took a deep breath and threw Jim at the window as hard as I could. I missed the window and Jim crashed against the wall, then fell down and hit the floor.
Jim sat up rubbing a bruise on his head. "If at first you don't succeed, try try again," I said.
"This stuff is pretty hard on me," complained Jim. "Isn't there a simpler way to do it?"
"Well," I said, "we could wait for school to start on Monday. Of course you would miss your T.V. show twice."
"Let's try again," said Jim. "We might make it this time."
This time, instead of throwing, I picked up the ball of yarn and twirled it over my head. Jim, tied to the other of the yarn, went flying around in circles.
Once I had enough speed I let go and Jim went flying towards the window.
"He's gonna make it," I thought. "He's gonna make..." Jim didn't make it. He crashed into the wall less than two inches short of the wall. He then fell down to the ground.
Dazed, Jim got up. "I don't think my T.V. show is that important," he said. "Besides it might be a repeat."
I paused, then realized that if Jim had given up on his TV show, it would be easy to change his mind. "What if its not a repeat and they never show it again? Of, if they repeat one of the great ones, like Nomes taking over the castle. Come on, let's try again," I said.
"Okay," said Jim. "I threw Jim at the window once more. The handle that opened the window was sticking out. Jim grabbed it. He then pulled himself up to the window sill.
He pushed against the handle and tried to open the window. He pushed against the handle so hard he fell off the window sill. I took my phaser and threw it at the window. The window broke and Jim was able to get out. (I had to throw him again).
He got help and I got out.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The True Story of Little Red Riding Hood
This was in 6th grade. We had been studying legends and fairy tales, and our assignment was to re-write one of the standard fairy tales.
This version of "Little Red Riding Hood" I wrote was heavily influenced ( slash plagiarized) from the Musical "Into the Woods" which my mother had taken me to see earlier that year. But, aside from the idea of Little Red Riding Hood being a chubby candy eating glutton, I think there's enough of my own ideas in this to still call the story my own.
This story was voted the best by my classmates, and so we used it for our skit at the inter-scholastic "Legends and Fairy Tale Conference" (or something like that.) The teacher re-wrote it as a play, and my classmates drew pictures of this story to use as a slide show.
I am the "so-called" big bad wolf in the story of Little Red Riding Hood. Let me tell you the real story.
One day when I was feeling bored, a chubby little girl was skipping through the woods eating as she went. "Where are you going little girl?" I asked.
"I'm just going on a picnic," she said as she flung her red cape around her shoulders.
At this point I was so bored I was willing to do anything. "Can I go on the picnic?" I asked.
"Sure, the more the merrier," chimed the little girl. We went to a nice quiet river and began to chow down. The little girl must have had eyes bigger than her mouth because she packed enough food for days. She ate all the candy and nothing else. I ate nothing because it was all people food, and I just waited patiently for the picnic games.
After the girl polished off the last of the candy, she shook my paw, thanked me for coming, and started back to her house.
"Isn't your mother going to be mad when she sees all you ate was candy?" I called out.
She froze. "You're right," she said. "As long as I'm in the area, I'll drop the rest off at Grandmother's house."
"One more thing," I added. "Aren't we supposed to play games? I didn't come all this way just to watch you eat."
"If you're so big about games," she said, "then we'll play 'Who can get to Granny's house first'. I'll go this way, and you go that way, and the first one who gets to Granny's house wins."
It was a dumb game, but I was so bored I was willing to do anything. I ran like the wind, and would have won but on the way I saw three houses, a straw house, a stick house, and a brick house. I went to the straw house and...
...Well, that's another story altogether. Anyway, to sum it up, I ate two pigs, and almost got cooked myself after a narrow escape. The point is, because of this little detour I came to the house last.
Meanwhile Little Red Riding Hood had gotten to the house first and went inside. Her Grandmother had recently had plastic surgery done on her. But the surgeon was an amateur, and he had equipment problems, and the results were poor grandmother ended up looking very weird. Because of this she was not feeling well and was lying in bed trying to recover.
Little Red Riding Hood went into her grandmother's hut. "Oh, grandmother, what big hands you have," said Little Red Riding Hood.
"The better to hug you my dear," answered the grandmother.
"Oh, grandmother, what big eyes you have."
"The better to see you my dear."
"Oh, grandmother, what big ears you have."
"The better to hear you my dear."
"Oh grandmother, what a big mouth you have."
"The better to eat you my dear." Then they both laughed, because Grandmother had been joking.
Just about this time I arrived. When I walked through the door, Grandmother saw me and jumped out of bed in a fright and ran around the room screaming. Little Red Riding Hood, upon seeing this, thought that maybe Granny had really lost it after all, and hadn't been joking about eating her.
A Woodsman heard the commotion, and ran into the house. Seeing everyone running around, he naturally assumed the wolf was to blame, and cut my stomach open. Two little pigs came running out of my stomach, and I blacked out.
Little Red Riding Hood thought I would be hungry now that my lunch had run out of my stomach, so she filled up my stomach with rocks so I wouldn't be hungry.
I awakened to see the woodsman with his axe standing over me, so I decided to play dead. Fortunately they bought it.
When Little Red Riding Hood got home, she ran to her mother and said, "You'll never guess what happened. I was bringing food to Granny's and--."
"I thought you were going on a picnic. You were bringing food to Grandmother's house? Why how sweet," her mother interrupted.
"And I met this wolf after we went on a picnic--"
"Picnic?" Her mother asked.
"I mean after I met him he wanted to play a game, so he went one way and I went the other and I got there first, but Granny had turned into a wolf and I said, 'Grandmother, what a big mouth you have," and she said, 'The better to eat you my dear.' I thought she was kidding at first but then..."
And she told the rest of the story.
Well, you know how mothers are. The mother drew her own conclusion from the story, and told all the rest of the mothers. And that's how the story you know came to be.
This version of "Little Red Riding Hood" I wrote was heavily influenced ( slash plagiarized) from the Musical "Into the Woods" which my mother had taken me to see earlier that year. But, aside from the idea of Little Red Riding Hood being a chubby candy eating glutton, I think there's enough of my own ideas in this to still call the story my own.
This story was voted the best by my classmates, and so we used it for our skit at the inter-scholastic "Legends and Fairy Tale Conference" (or something like that.) The teacher re-wrote it as a play, and my classmates drew pictures of this story to use as a slide show.
I am the "so-called" big bad wolf in the story of Little Red Riding Hood. Let me tell you the real story.
One day when I was feeling bored, a chubby little girl was skipping through the woods eating as she went. "Where are you going little girl?" I asked.
"I'm just going on a picnic," she said as she flung her red cape around her shoulders.
At this point I was so bored I was willing to do anything. "Can I go on the picnic?" I asked.
"Sure, the more the merrier," chimed the little girl. We went to a nice quiet river and began to chow down. The little girl must have had eyes bigger than her mouth because she packed enough food for days. She ate all the candy and nothing else. I ate nothing because it was all people food, and I just waited patiently for the picnic games.
After the girl polished off the last of the candy, she shook my paw, thanked me for coming, and started back to her house.
"Isn't your mother going to be mad when she sees all you ate was candy?" I called out.
She froze. "You're right," she said. "As long as I'm in the area, I'll drop the rest off at Grandmother's house."
"One more thing," I added. "Aren't we supposed to play games? I didn't come all this way just to watch you eat."
"If you're so big about games," she said, "then we'll play 'Who can get to Granny's house first'. I'll go this way, and you go that way, and the first one who gets to Granny's house wins."
It was a dumb game, but I was so bored I was willing to do anything. I ran like the wind, and would have won but on the way I saw three houses, a straw house, a stick house, and a brick house. I went to the straw house and...
...Well, that's another story altogether. Anyway, to sum it up, I ate two pigs, and almost got cooked myself after a narrow escape. The point is, because of this little detour I came to the house last.
Meanwhile Little Red Riding Hood had gotten to the house first and went inside. Her Grandmother had recently had plastic surgery done on her. But the surgeon was an amateur, and he had equipment problems, and the results were poor grandmother ended up looking very weird. Because of this she was not feeling well and was lying in bed trying to recover.
Little Red Riding Hood went into her grandmother's hut. "Oh, grandmother, what big hands you have," said Little Red Riding Hood.
"The better to hug you my dear," answered the grandmother.
"Oh, grandmother, what big eyes you have."
"The better to see you my dear."
"Oh, grandmother, what big ears you have."
"The better to hear you my dear."
"Oh grandmother, what a big mouth you have."
"The better to eat you my dear." Then they both laughed, because Grandmother had been joking.
Just about this time I arrived. When I walked through the door, Grandmother saw me and jumped out of bed in a fright and ran around the room screaming. Little Red Riding Hood, upon seeing this, thought that maybe Granny had really lost it after all, and hadn't been joking about eating her.
A Woodsman heard the commotion, and ran into the house. Seeing everyone running around, he naturally assumed the wolf was to blame, and cut my stomach open. Two little pigs came running out of my stomach, and I blacked out.
Little Red Riding Hood thought I would be hungry now that my lunch had run out of my stomach, so she filled up my stomach with rocks so I wouldn't be hungry.
I awakened to see the woodsman with his axe standing over me, so I decided to play dead. Fortunately they bought it.
When Little Red Riding Hood got home, she ran to her mother and said, "You'll never guess what happened. I was bringing food to Granny's and--."
"I thought you were going on a picnic. You were bringing food to Grandmother's house? Why how sweet," her mother interrupted.
"And I met this wolf after we went on a picnic--"
"Picnic?" Her mother asked.
"I mean after I met him he wanted to play a game, so he went one way and I went the other and I got there first, but Granny had turned into a wolf and I said, 'Grandmother, what a big mouth you have," and she said, 'The better to eat you my dear.' I thought she was kidding at first but then..."
And she told the rest of the story.
Well, you know how mothers are. The mother drew her own conclusion from the story, and told all the rest of the mothers. And that's how the story you know came to be.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Fortunately
This was an assignment for 4th grade. The teacher read a book to us, and then asked us to write a story in the same style, alternating between fortunate and unfortunate sentences.
It's hard to make a linear story when every second sentence has to be a disaster, but that's part of the fun as well. This was yet another story in which I far exceeded the required length, and spent a lot of time writing on this. Looking back it hardly seems very literary, but I was very proud of it at the time.
Fortunately the Lone Wolf found a mate.
Unfortunately a hunter came.
Fortunately the lone wolf got away.
Unfortunately his mate was shot.
Fortunately the lone wolf found a cave to hide from the hunter
Unfortunately the hunter found him
Fortunately the lone wolf dodged the hunter and ran out into the woods
Unfortunately he got caught in a bush and the hunter found him
Fortunately the hunter had run out of bullets for his gun
Unfortunately he had a knife which he grabbed from his pocket
Fortunately the lone wolf bit his hand and the knife fell into the bush and the lone wolf stood guard over it
Unfortunately the hunter pushed him aside and grabbed his knife
Fortunately when he did this he freed the lone wolf from the bush
Unfortunately the lone wolf ran in a cave and the bear who lived in the cave attacked the lone wolf
Fortunately the lone wolf ran out of the cave
Unfortunately the lone wolf stopped to rest and the hunter snuck up on him and grabbed him
Fortunately the lone wolf struggled free
Unfortunately the hunter threw his knife and gave the lone wolf a wound on his leg.
Fortunately the bear came out of his cave and scared the hunter away.
Unfortunately the bear attacked the lone wolf next
Fortunately another hunter came on the scene and shot the bear, and was going to help the lone wolf with his wound because he liked wolves.
Unfortunately he was attacked by a gang of robbers before he had a chance
Fortunately he killed one.
Unfortunately one killed him.
Fortunately the robbers were going to help the lone wolf with his wounds because they liked wolves too.
Unfortunately before they had a chance to, a bunch of police men arrested the robbers.
Fortunately the police men saw the wolf and were going to help him because they also liked wolves
Unfortunately the hunter was sneaking up on the limping wolf with his knife. (He had grabbed his knife as he ran away from the bear.)
Fortunately the police men saw him and told him not to kill the wolf.
Unfortunately he didn't listen to them
Fortunately a police man ran down and took the hunter's knife.
Unfortunately the hunter tackled the police man and took back his knife and killed the police man with it.
Fortunately the rest of the police men saw this and they arrested the hunter
Unfortunately while all of this was happening, the lone wolf had limped back into the forest.
Fortunately he wasn't hard to find and the police men found him and drove him to the vet
Unfortunately when they got there they learned that the vet had been killed
Fortunately a new vet came in ten minutes later
And fortunately he healed the wolf
And fortunately he returned the lone wolf to the wild.
It's hard to make a linear story when every second sentence has to be a disaster, but that's part of the fun as well. This was yet another story in which I far exceeded the required length, and spent a lot of time writing on this. Looking back it hardly seems very literary, but I was very proud of it at the time.
Fortunately the Lone Wolf found a mate.
Unfortunately a hunter came.
Fortunately the lone wolf got away.
Unfortunately his mate was shot.
Fortunately the lone wolf found a cave to hide from the hunter
Unfortunately the hunter found him
Fortunately the lone wolf dodged the hunter and ran out into the woods
Unfortunately he got caught in a bush and the hunter found him
Fortunately the hunter had run out of bullets for his gun
Unfortunately he had a knife which he grabbed from his pocket
Fortunately the lone wolf bit his hand and the knife fell into the bush and the lone wolf stood guard over it
Unfortunately the hunter pushed him aside and grabbed his knife
Fortunately when he did this he freed the lone wolf from the bush
Unfortunately the lone wolf ran in a cave and the bear who lived in the cave attacked the lone wolf
Fortunately the lone wolf ran out of the cave
Unfortunately the lone wolf stopped to rest and the hunter snuck up on him and grabbed him
Fortunately the lone wolf struggled free
Unfortunately the hunter threw his knife and gave the lone wolf a wound on his leg.
Fortunately the bear came out of his cave and scared the hunter away.
Unfortunately the bear attacked the lone wolf next
Fortunately another hunter came on the scene and shot the bear, and was going to help the lone wolf with his wound because he liked wolves.
Unfortunately he was attacked by a gang of robbers before he had a chance
Fortunately he killed one.
Unfortunately one killed him.
Fortunately the robbers were going to help the lone wolf with his wounds because they liked wolves too.
Unfortunately before they had a chance to, a bunch of police men arrested the robbers.
Fortunately the police men saw the wolf and were going to help him because they also liked wolves
Unfortunately the hunter was sneaking up on the limping wolf with his knife. (He had grabbed his knife as he ran away from the bear.)
Fortunately the police men saw him and told him not to kill the wolf.
Unfortunately he didn't listen to them
Fortunately a police man ran down and took the hunter's knife.
Unfortunately the hunter tackled the police man and took back his knife and killed the police man with it.
Fortunately the rest of the police men saw this and they arrested the hunter
Unfortunately while all of this was happening, the lone wolf had limped back into the forest.
Fortunately he wasn't hard to find and the police men found him and drove him to the vet
Unfortunately when they got there they learned that the vet had been killed
Fortunately a new vet came in ten minutes later
And fortunately he healed the wolf
And fortunately he returned the lone wolf to the wild.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Pirates (Prisoner of the Pirates)
Explanation: I wrote this in 3rd grade. This was a story I thought up in my head one day while day dreaming. It was basically a pirate story, but one a 3rd grader imagines, filled with questions like, "If the Pirates shoot a hole in your sails, why don't you just sew it up and keep sailing?" Or "If the Pirates shoot cannon balls at you, why not just re-use their cannonballs and shoot them right back?"
I thought it was such a great story that afterwards I hurried to write it all down before I forgot it. Because I was trying to write it down fast, I stuck to a bare bones type of writing style, and even wrote it up like a play so I could use as little descriptive words as possible.
Later, when I was picked by my teacher to go to Calvin's "Young Author's Festival" I brought this story along with me. I needed a title, so I called it "Prisoner of the Pirates" even though no one actually gets taken prisoner in the story. When I realized how many of the kids actually had decent stories, I was a bit embarrassed about this one.
This is one of those stories that didn't transfer from the mind to the paper very well. In my mind it was primarily a story about two men, one (General Rotten) I pictured as the epitome of masculinity. Gruff, unshaven, hasn't bathed for weeks, old soldier type. The other was a gentleman, an actor, refined taste but helpless in battle, so General Rotten has to constantly save him. There was no back story in my mind, but on paper I had to invent one about a famous clown who travels to Baghdad to avoid a war.
The long battle scenes that were elaborate in my mind got stripped down to almost nothing on paper. Also in my mind I pictured most of this stuff going on at once: the battle in the Captain's cabin, the fighting on the masts, and General Rotten protecting his friends and then falling off the ship. I was unable to write it all at once though, and so a lot of the excitement got lost.
One day a famous clown was performing. He was very famous. He lived in England. His helper brought him a letter from Baghdad.
Helper: Here's a letter from Baghdad.
Clown: From Baghdad! Let me see!
He read the letter.
Clown: They want me to come over to Baghdad and perform there.
Helper: You can't ! The Devil Fish Pirates will get you. I sure.
The Devil Fish Pirates were a bunch of pirates who for some reason didn't let anyone cross the sea.
Clown: I'm not going.
Helper: Good
Ten days later the clown saw King Richard coming to see him.
Clown: Hi King Richard
King: You must go to Baghdad. If you don't, they are going to destroy England.
Clown: I must go then. But what if the Devil Fish Pirates catch me?
King: You are too good a clown for us to let that happen. Tell you what, I'll think of something to protect you, and in the morning I'll tell you what it is.
Clown: All right. See you tomorrow. Good night.
King: Good night.
That night the clown told his helper everything.
Clown: I met King Richard. He said I have to go to Baghdad or Baghdad will destroy England.
Helper: Oh No! Please don't go, even if it means the end of England.
Clown: I'm sorry but I must go.
Helper: Then let me go too.
Clown: You might be able to come.
Helper: Didn't King Richard find some way to protect you?
Clown: He's trying to think of one. He'll tell me tomorrow.
The next day, after the Clown show, the clown saw King Richard again.
Clown: Did you find a way to keep me safe?
King: Yes, the captain of my army has chosen 20 men of the army to fight the pirates. And the captain is going too.
Clown: Is the famous General Rotten among that 20?
King: I don't know. The captain didn't tell me who he picked.
Clown: General Rotten must be in that 20. By the way, my helper wants to go too. Can he?
King: We'll let the army captain decide that. Go get your helper. I want you to meet the army captain.
The Clown ran and got his helper and then all three of them went tot see the army captain.
Clown: Hello Captain
Captain: Hello
Then the captain turned his head to the helper.
Captain: Who is this?
Clown: My helper. He wants to go on the ship.
Before the captain could answer, King Richard said...
King: I must be leaving
...and then he left. The captain then said...
Captain: I'm not a fool. I have a man named Peter in case we get shoot in the sail. Peter will sew our sail back together again. Your helper can help Peter. What is your helper's name?
Helper: I don't know.
Captain: We will call you James. What's your name, Clown?
Clown: I don't know either.
Captain: We'll just call you Clown Lets get on the boat.
They sailed many nights and many days. One day the look out spied a ship. The ship fired a cannonball and made a hole in the sails. Everybody knew it was the Devil Fish Pirates. Peter and James climbed up and sewed the sails back together. As soon as they were done another shot hit the same part of the sail. Then the guns were aimed at the people. Just before they fired again the clown saw someone he knew: General Rotten. He went over to talk to him. Then the guns went off.
Rotten: Duck!
General Rotten pulled the clown down. Then the captain thought...
Captain (thinking): Why don't I use their cannon balls in our canon, and shoot their own canon balls back at them.
The captain was going to do this, but then someone said that the cannon balls that the pirates had already used were broken. The captain decided to try it anyway. But before he could do a thing he was shot. He lay hurt. General Rotten and the clown took the captain and put him in a cabin. Then the clown said...
Clown: General Rotten, I don't know how to fight. What do I do?
Rotten: Then get down to the basement of the ship where the Pirates can get you
Clown: What? And let you get killed fighting by yourself?
Rotten: Get down there.
General Rotten pushed the clown down into the basement and locked the door. Then he went back out onto the deck. By this time the Pirate ship had caught up with their ship, and the Pirates ran onto their ship.
The strongest soldier, after killing 20 pirates at one time, went to fight the captain of the Pirates. But the pirate captain was no ordinary captain. He was also very strong. The strongest soldier went on the Pirate ship and in a cabin he found the Pirate captain. He fought him for a very long time. Finally he wounded the pirate captain. Then he put on the Pirate captain's hat and uniform, so that he looked exactly like the pirate captain. When he came out of the cabin, everyone was still fighting on the two ships and up in the mast and sails as well. This is what had happened:
General Rotten had gone to talk to his best friend (aside from the Clown). Then the friend's friend came along and pointed to a large group of pirates, and said...
Friend: I bet I can beat them all.
...and then left to fight. The pirates killed him quickly. Then General Rotten's friend tried it, and he found he couldn't beat the pirates and ran. The pirates ran after him and General Rotten came to save him, and then General Rotten began fighting that group of pirates. Then the ship hit a rock and jolted. Everyone fell forward. General Rotten fell off the ship. One pirate threw a sword at him. It missed, but everyone thought General Rotten had been killed.
Then for some reason everyone climbed up on the masts and the pirates followed them. Which brings us back to where we were.
The fake pirate captain ordered the pirates back on to the ship. As the pirates were retreating, James jumped off his perch on the mast and knocked one pirate off of the sails. James then stopped himself from falling by grabbing onto one of the sails and sliding down. Then he ran onto the pirate ship and went to attack the Pirate captain, not knowing he was a fake captain. In the struggle he knocked the fake beard off. When the Pirates realized it was fake, they stopped retreating and attacked James and the fake captain.
Peter rushed over to help. He slid down the sails, knocking several pirates over on the way down, and the three of them fought together.
Then the real Pirate captain emerged from the cabin. He was still severely wounded. He ordered the pirates back onto their own ship, but they thought it was another trick. They pulled on his beard to see if it was fake. The captain had been so severely wounded that even this small shock killed him.
At this point General Rotten came out of the water. The Pirates decided to carry out the last will of their dead captain, and sailed away. General Rotten let the clown out of the basement.
The injured army captain survived, and as soon as they got to Baghdad they found a Doctor for him. After that, no longer did the Devil Fish Pirates sail the seas.
I thought it was such a great story that afterwards I hurried to write it all down before I forgot it. Because I was trying to write it down fast, I stuck to a bare bones type of writing style, and even wrote it up like a play so I could use as little descriptive words as possible.
Later, when I was picked by my teacher to go to Calvin's "Young Author's Festival" I brought this story along with me. I needed a title, so I called it "Prisoner of the Pirates" even though no one actually gets taken prisoner in the story. When I realized how many of the kids actually had decent stories, I was a bit embarrassed about this one.
This is one of those stories that didn't transfer from the mind to the paper very well. In my mind it was primarily a story about two men, one (General Rotten) I pictured as the epitome of masculinity. Gruff, unshaven, hasn't bathed for weeks, old soldier type. The other was a gentleman, an actor, refined taste but helpless in battle, so General Rotten has to constantly save him. There was no back story in my mind, but on paper I had to invent one about a famous clown who travels to Baghdad to avoid a war.
The long battle scenes that were elaborate in my mind got stripped down to almost nothing on paper. Also in my mind I pictured most of this stuff going on at once: the battle in the Captain's cabin, the fighting on the masts, and General Rotten protecting his friends and then falling off the ship. I was unable to write it all at once though, and so a lot of the excitement got lost.
One day a famous clown was performing. He was very famous. He lived in England. His helper brought him a letter from Baghdad.
Helper: Here's a letter from Baghdad.
Clown: From Baghdad! Let me see!
He read the letter.
Clown: They want me to come over to Baghdad and perform there.
Helper: You can't ! The Devil Fish Pirates will get you. I sure.
The Devil Fish Pirates were a bunch of pirates who for some reason didn't let anyone cross the sea.
Clown: I'm not going.
Helper: Good
Ten days later the clown saw King Richard coming to see him.
Clown: Hi King Richard
King: You must go to Baghdad. If you don't, they are going to destroy England.
Clown: I must go then. But what if the Devil Fish Pirates catch me?
King: You are too good a clown for us to let that happen. Tell you what, I'll think of something to protect you, and in the morning I'll tell you what it is.
Clown: All right. See you tomorrow. Good night.
King: Good night.
That night the clown told his helper everything.
Clown: I met King Richard. He said I have to go to Baghdad or Baghdad will destroy England.
Helper: Oh No! Please don't go, even if it means the end of England.
Clown: I'm sorry but I must go.
Helper: Then let me go too.
Clown: You might be able to come.
Helper: Didn't King Richard find some way to protect you?
Clown: He's trying to think of one. He'll tell me tomorrow.
The next day, after the Clown show, the clown saw King Richard again.
Clown: Did you find a way to keep me safe?
King: Yes, the captain of my army has chosen 20 men of the army to fight the pirates. And the captain is going too.
Clown: Is the famous General Rotten among that 20?
King: I don't know. The captain didn't tell me who he picked.
Clown: General Rotten must be in that 20. By the way, my helper wants to go too. Can he?
King: We'll let the army captain decide that. Go get your helper. I want you to meet the army captain.
The Clown ran and got his helper and then all three of them went tot see the army captain.
Clown: Hello Captain
Captain: Hello
Then the captain turned his head to the helper.
Captain: Who is this?
Clown: My helper. He wants to go on the ship.
Before the captain could answer, King Richard said...
King: I must be leaving
...and then he left. The captain then said...
Captain: I'm not a fool. I have a man named Peter in case we get shoot in the sail. Peter will sew our sail back together again. Your helper can help Peter. What is your helper's name?
Helper: I don't know.
Captain: We will call you James. What's your name, Clown?
Clown: I don't know either.
Captain: We'll just call you Clown Lets get on the boat.
They sailed many nights and many days. One day the look out spied a ship. The ship fired a cannonball and made a hole in the sails. Everybody knew it was the Devil Fish Pirates. Peter and James climbed up and sewed the sails back together. As soon as they were done another shot hit the same part of the sail. Then the guns were aimed at the people. Just before they fired again the clown saw someone he knew: General Rotten. He went over to talk to him. Then the guns went off.
Rotten: Duck!
General Rotten pulled the clown down. Then the captain thought...
Captain (thinking): Why don't I use their cannon balls in our canon, and shoot their own canon balls back at them.
The captain was going to do this, but then someone said that the cannon balls that the pirates had already used were broken. The captain decided to try it anyway. But before he could do a thing he was shot. He lay hurt. General Rotten and the clown took the captain and put him in a cabin. Then the clown said...
Clown: General Rotten, I don't know how to fight. What do I do?
Rotten: Then get down to the basement of the ship where the Pirates can get you
Clown: What? And let you get killed fighting by yourself?
Rotten: Get down there.
General Rotten pushed the clown down into the basement and locked the door. Then he went back out onto the deck. By this time the Pirate ship had caught up with their ship, and the Pirates ran onto their ship.
The strongest soldier, after killing 20 pirates at one time, went to fight the captain of the Pirates. But the pirate captain was no ordinary captain. He was also very strong. The strongest soldier went on the Pirate ship and in a cabin he found the Pirate captain. He fought him for a very long time. Finally he wounded the pirate captain. Then he put on the Pirate captain's hat and uniform, so that he looked exactly like the pirate captain. When he came out of the cabin, everyone was still fighting on the two ships and up in the mast and sails as well. This is what had happened:
General Rotten had gone to talk to his best friend (aside from the Clown). Then the friend's friend came along and pointed to a large group of pirates, and said...
Friend: I bet I can beat them all.
...and then left to fight. The pirates killed him quickly. Then General Rotten's friend tried it, and he found he couldn't beat the pirates and ran. The pirates ran after him and General Rotten came to save him, and then General Rotten began fighting that group of pirates. Then the ship hit a rock and jolted. Everyone fell forward. General Rotten fell off the ship. One pirate threw a sword at him. It missed, but everyone thought General Rotten had been killed.
Then for some reason everyone climbed up on the masts and the pirates followed them. Which brings us back to where we were.
The fake pirate captain ordered the pirates back on to the ship. As the pirates were retreating, James jumped off his perch on the mast and knocked one pirate off of the sails. James then stopped himself from falling by grabbing onto one of the sails and sliding down. Then he ran onto the pirate ship and went to attack the Pirate captain, not knowing he was a fake captain. In the struggle he knocked the fake beard off. When the Pirates realized it was fake, they stopped retreating and attacked James and the fake captain.
Peter rushed over to help. He slid down the sails, knocking several pirates over on the way down, and the three of them fought together.
Then the real Pirate captain emerged from the cabin. He was still severely wounded. He ordered the pirates back onto their own ship, but they thought it was another trick. They pulled on his beard to see if it was fake. The captain had been so severely wounded that even this small shock killed him.
At this point General Rotten came out of the water. The Pirates decided to carry out the last will of their dead captain, and sailed away. General Rotten let the clown out of the basement.
The injured army captain survived, and as soon as they got to Baghdad they found a Doctor for him. After that, no longer did the Devil Fish Pirates sail the seas.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
The Three Little Giraffes
This was a creative writing assignment in second grade. The worksheet said, "Once upon a time there were three little giraffes. The first giraffe built a home in a haystack. The second giraffe built a home in a __________. The third giraffe built a home in a __________________."
Our assignment was to fill in the blanks, and then write the rest of the story on the next page. For whatever reason, my imagination really took off on this one. I filled up the next page, and then had to ask for another piece of paper, and then another one, and then another one. Eventually I filled up eight pieces of paper, which was far and above the original assignment.
Once upon a time there were three little giraffes.
The first giraffe built a home in a haystack.
The second giraffe built a home in a leaf pile.
The third giraffe built a home in a wood pile.
But little did they know a bunch of pirates were looking for giraffe soup. They found the giraffes.
Then the first giraffe hit them on the head with a pan.
The next giraffe was strong and beat them up.
The third giraffe was too fast.
In the night the giraffes heard the pirates plan. In the morning they made their own plans and outwitted the pirates.
The next time the giraffes did the same thing, but this time the pirates heard the giraffes plan and outwitted the giraffes. But they forgot that the third giraffe was fast and as a result all the giraffes were able to get away.
That night the giraffes did not listen to the pirates plan but they knew that the pirates would listen to their plans, so they held their planning session at a different time.
The first giraffe said, "We will have to murder the pirates. They think that giraffes are not strong. So they do not think it is necessary to use their wea--"
"Don't say that word," said the second giraffe. "If the pirates somehow knew we are having our meeting at a different time, we could be giving them ideas to use their you know what. So don't say the word. Just say 'You know what.'"
They then asked the third giraffe if he knew what the "you know what" was, and he said no. So they huddled close together and they whispered, "It means their weapons."
"Anyway," continued the first giraffe, "they think of us as weakling giraffes. So they do not think it is necessary to use their 'you know what.' But when they find out how strong we really are they will use their 'you know what.' So we will have to murder them."
"I object," said the second giraffe. "When the pirates went to our houses we all got away some how. We must tell each other how we did it."
The first giraffe said, "I hit them on the head with my pan."
The second giraffe said, "I beat them up."
The third giraffe said, " I ran so fast they couldn't catch me. Now let's go to sleep."
"No," said the first giraffe. "We have to figure out what we are going to do."
"Well," said the second giraffe, "I could beat them all up, while you," he pointed to the first giraffe, "will sneak up to the captain and hit him on the head with your pan and kill him. Once their captain is dead, the pirates should give up. But if that isn't enough for the pirates, then the third giraffe can use his speed to rescue you from the rest of the pirates."
Well, it all worked out fine until the first giraffe had done his job. The pirates were furious, but the third giraffe didn't notice at first and so the first giraffe jumped into the river to escape.
The second giraffe noticed and he stopped fighting to yell a warning to the third giraffe. Then he gasped, "They're using their weapons."
By now the first giraffe had been picked up by the current and was being swept away. The third giraffe was running alongside the river trying to help him. Then the third giraffe was shot by a pirate gun and fell to the ground dead.
The second giraffe saw what happened, but he couldn't run as fast as the third giraffe, so he couldn't get away from the pirates he was fighting. So the first giraffe got washed away.
That night it was hard for the second giraffe to sleep. Meanwhile the first giraffe was swimming for his life. Then he saw a whirlpool ahead. He began to swim with all his might against the current. When he saw it was no use, he began to yell for help. Then a storm began. Lightening hit a tree and it fell into the river. The first giraffe grabbed the tree and pulled himself to the shore and slept there.
The next day the first giraffe woke up and saw a forest. And he saw a lion. He ran away and the lion ran after him. As they ran, more and more lions joined the chase. Soon the first giraffe was surrounded by lions. From the trees a monkey reached down and pulled the first giraffe up to safety. Then the monkey stuck his tongue out at the lions. Then the monkey said, "Hello."
And the first giraffe said, "Hello," back.
Then the monkey said, "Let's go have some tea."
And the first giraffe said, "Let's". So they went to have some tea.
Meanwhile the second giraffe was having a terrible time fighting the pirates. Since he started fighting that morning, he had only killed nine pirates. There were still 10,027 pirates left.
All of a sudden they all charged him at once. And from behind one of them grabbed him around his neck and held a knife to his throat. A voice then came and it said, " We only have one giraffe for our soup. You will be the next. Walk or you will die."
The second giraffe was brought into the pirates boat. The pirates led him down the stairs, down a a long hallway, and then they jumped down a hole. Then another long hall and down another hole. The pirates left by jumping out, and they left the second giraffe in the hole.
The walls started closing in and the second giraffe couldn't jump as high as the pirates. But he was strong. He held back the walls and climbed up to the top. Then he ran back to his house.
Meanwhile the monkey and the first giraffe were having tea. The first giraffe told the monkey his story. "To get back," the monkey said, "all you have to do is follow the stream back to your house. I will come with you."
So they went to follow the stream and they went all the way back to the second giraffe's house. Then all three went to fight the pirates. The monkey went up into the trees and threw coconuts at the pirates. The pirates couldn't climb the trees, so they were beaten by the Monkey.
The End
Our assignment was to fill in the blanks, and then write the rest of the story on the next page. For whatever reason, my imagination really took off on this one. I filled up the next page, and then had to ask for another piece of paper, and then another one, and then another one. Eventually I filled up eight pieces of paper, which was far and above the original assignment.
Once upon a time there were three little giraffes.
The first giraffe built a home in a haystack.
The second giraffe built a home in a leaf pile.
The third giraffe built a home in a wood pile.
But little did they know a bunch of pirates were looking for giraffe soup. They found the giraffes.
Then the first giraffe hit them on the head with a pan.
The next giraffe was strong and beat them up.
The third giraffe was too fast.
In the night the giraffes heard the pirates plan. In the morning they made their own plans and outwitted the pirates.
The next time the giraffes did the same thing, but this time the pirates heard the giraffes plan and outwitted the giraffes. But they forgot that the third giraffe was fast and as a result all the giraffes were able to get away.
That night the giraffes did not listen to the pirates plan but they knew that the pirates would listen to their plans, so they held their planning session at a different time.
The first giraffe said, "We will have to murder the pirates. They think that giraffes are not strong. So they do not think it is necessary to use their wea--"
"Don't say that word," said the second giraffe. "If the pirates somehow knew we are having our meeting at a different time, we could be giving them ideas to use their you know what. So don't say the word. Just say 'You know what.'"
They then asked the third giraffe if he knew what the "you know what" was, and he said no. So they huddled close together and they whispered, "It means their weapons."
"Anyway," continued the first giraffe, "they think of us as weakling giraffes. So they do not think it is necessary to use their 'you know what.' But when they find out how strong we really are they will use their 'you know what.' So we will have to murder them."
"I object," said the second giraffe. "When the pirates went to our houses we all got away some how. We must tell each other how we did it."
The first giraffe said, "I hit them on the head with my pan."
The second giraffe said, "I beat them up."
The third giraffe said, " I ran so fast they couldn't catch me. Now let's go to sleep."
"No," said the first giraffe. "We have to figure out what we are going to do."
"Well," said the second giraffe, "I could beat them all up, while you," he pointed to the first giraffe, "will sneak up to the captain and hit him on the head with your pan and kill him. Once their captain is dead, the pirates should give up. But if that isn't enough for the pirates, then the third giraffe can use his speed to rescue you from the rest of the pirates."
Well, it all worked out fine until the first giraffe had done his job. The pirates were furious, but the third giraffe didn't notice at first and so the first giraffe jumped into the river to escape.
The second giraffe noticed and he stopped fighting to yell a warning to the third giraffe. Then he gasped, "They're using their weapons."
By now the first giraffe had been picked up by the current and was being swept away. The third giraffe was running alongside the river trying to help him. Then the third giraffe was shot by a pirate gun and fell to the ground dead.
The second giraffe saw what happened, but he couldn't run as fast as the third giraffe, so he couldn't get away from the pirates he was fighting. So the first giraffe got washed away.
That night it was hard for the second giraffe to sleep. Meanwhile the first giraffe was swimming for his life. Then he saw a whirlpool ahead. He began to swim with all his might against the current. When he saw it was no use, he began to yell for help. Then a storm began. Lightening hit a tree and it fell into the river. The first giraffe grabbed the tree and pulled himself to the shore and slept there.
The next day the first giraffe woke up and saw a forest. And he saw a lion. He ran away and the lion ran after him. As they ran, more and more lions joined the chase. Soon the first giraffe was surrounded by lions. From the trees a monkey reached down and pulled the first giraffe up to safety. Then the monkey stuck his tongue out at the lions. Then the monkey said, "Hello."
And the first giraffe said, "Hello," back.
Then the monkey said, "Let's go have some tea."
And the first giraffe said, "Let's". So they went to have some tea.
Meanwhile the second giraffe was having a terrible time fighting the pirates. Since he started fighting that morning, he had only killed nine pirates. There were still 10,027 pirates left.
All of a sudden they all charged him at once. And from behind one of them grabbed him around his neck and held a knife to his throat. A voice then came and it said, " We only have one giraffe for our soup. You will be the next. Walk or you will die."
The second giraffe was brought into the pirates boat. The pirates led him down the stairs, down a a long hallway, and then they jumped down a hole. Then another long hall and down another hole. The pirates left by jumping out, and they left the second giraffe in the hole.
The walls started closing in and the second giraffe couldn't jump as high as the pirates. But he was strong. He held back the walls and climbed up to the top. Then he ran back to his house.
Meanwhile the monkey and the first giraffe were having tea. The first giraffe told the monkey his story. "To get back," the monkey said, "all you have to do is follow the stream back to your house. I will come with you."
So they went to follow the stream and they went all the way back to the second giraffe's house. Then all three went to fight the pirates. The monkey went up into the trees and threw coconuts at the pirates. The pirates couldn't climb the trees, so they were beaten by the Monkey.
The End
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Rescue of the Animals
Once upon a time
The mother cow got stuck in the river. And the baby leaned down to take one drink and she got her drink, and then she fell into the river. The mother cow held onto her and they both got out.
They got back to the farmyard. The horse was sitting down and got up and ran out to meet them, when a lion came.
Then some people came up to the river to catch some fish but they didn catch any.
The farmer ran out with one bear. And the bear got loose and the sheep came running after him with one horse and one dog and one rooster. And the bear stopped running and sat down on a cool spot under a tree. The sheep caught up to the bear and the bear bit him. Then the baby calf chased them back to the forest. And the farmer sat down and got his baseball shoes on and went out to the baseball field. But the baseball game was all over and the other people had gone home.
And the farmer stayed up all night worrying: if one of my farm animals died, the other animals would be all right, but that one would be dead.
But none of the farm animals died. They just slept in the night. But the farmer died. And the other animals never died, even without the farmer to take care of them.
Then some wicked people came out. All the animals never died by themselves but the horse died when the wicked people came out. But the little horse, who had come running with the sheep to catch the bear, grew up and now there was a new horse in the farmyard. But the wicked people even shot that one. Then they shot all the other farmyard animals except the sheep.
And the sheep got really angry. The next time the wicked people came to kill the sheep, the sheep ran after them. But the wicked people didn just stand there, they ran away from the sheep. And the sheep just ran after them saying, "I'm the meanest animal in the farmyard and I can catch those wicked people." And then sheep caught up with the wicked people just as they were sitting down resting and the sheep shot those wicked people with his special gun and then ran out to the bear and all the other farm animals and made alive again with his magic wand, for the sheep was also a fairy. Then he came to the farmer and did the same thing. And the farmer ran away from those wicked people, until the sheep told them he had already shot the wicked people with his gun.
And then the horse started running away off the rock and told the sheep that there was danger. And the sheep went to find out what kind of danger there was. But what kind of danger did the sheep find there? He found a lion.
And he ran away, turning his head and told the horse that it was a lion.
Meanwhile the mother cow and the baby calf sat on a nice warm rock looking at that tree, the apple tree that the wicked hunters had planted. Then the horse got stuck in a net which some other wicked people had used to catch animals to eat. The bear took his sharp teeth and tore the net open. Then the horse got away by running.
Now the baby calf wasn't watching for danger and she was walking down a jungle path. And while she was doing this, a fierce lion came after her. And the mother cow told her that the jungle was dangerous. And the baby ran away from the jungle though the woods and back to the farmyard.
Then an airplane flew and landed in the farmyard. And the door flew open and out ran three horses. And then the airplane flew to a grassy field to get some more oil and fly over the farmyard. But it didn stay there. It started up the propellers again and flew over the farmyard. But it didn get far because it didn have any gas in the gas container. So the pilot put new gas in the gas container, but before he could start flying again another person caught him.
This was written when I was 4 or 5. Like "My Big Book About Raining" I dictated the story and my mom wrote it down for me.
This was one of those childhood items that was always getting lost, refound, and put into storage for years. I remember whenever I dug it out of storage, it would never be quite like I remembered it from last time.
When I first wrote this I took it quite seriously, and for a long time after considered this the child's equivalent of "The Great American Novel". Then in 3rd grade my mom took it out of storage and read it to me again, and it was suddenly not only bad, but hilariously bad. I laughed and laughed and thought I had unintentionally written the funniest thing ever.
Now when I look at it, it seems to me neither exceptionally good nor exceptionally bad. Just typical of something a child that age would write.
The mother cow got stuck in the river. And the baby leaned down to take one drink and she got her drink, and then she fell into the river. The mother cow held onto her and they both got out.
They got back to the farmyard. The horse was sitting down and got up and ran out to meet them, when a lion came.
Then some people came up to the river to catch some fish but they didn catch any.
The farmer ran out with one bear. And the bear got loose and the sheep came running after him with one horse and one dog and one rooster. And the bear stopped running and sat down on a cool spot under a tree. The sheep caught up to the bear and the bear bit him. Then the baby calf chased them back to the forest. And the farmer sat down and got his baseball shoes on and went out to the baseball field. But the baseball game was all over and the other people had gone home.
And the farmer stayed up all night worrying: if one of my farm animals died, the other animals would be all right, but that one would be dead.
But none of the farm animals died. They just slept in the night. But the farmer died. And the other animals never died, even without the farmer to take care of them.
Then some wicked people came out. All the animals never died by themselves but the horse died when the wicked people came out. But the little horse, who had come running with the sheep to catch the bear, grew up and now there was a new horse in the farmyard. But the wicked people even shot that one. Then they shot all the other farmyard animals except the sheep.
And the sheep got really angry. The next time the wicked people came to kill the sheep, the sheep ran after them. But the wicked people didn just stand there, they ran away from the sheep. And the sheep just ran after them saying, "I'm the meanest animal in the farmyard and I can catch those wicked people." And then sheep caught up with the wicked people just as they were sitting down resting and the sheep shot those wicked people with his special gun and then ran out to the bear and all the other farm animals and made alive again with his magic wand, for the sheep was also a fairy. Then he came to the farmer and did the same thing. And the farmer ran away from those wicked people, until the sheep told them he had already shot the wicked people with his gun.
And then the horse started running away off the rock and told the sheep that there was danger. And the sheep went to find out what kind of danger there was. But what kind of danger did the sheep find there? He found a lion.
And he ran away, turning his head and told the horse that it was a lion.
Meanwhile the mother cow and the baby calf sat on a nice warm rock looking at that tree, the apple tree that the wicked hunters had planted. Then the horse got stuck in a net which some other wicked people had used to catch animals to eat. The bear took his sharp teeth and tore the net open. Then the horse got away by running.
Now the baby calf wasn't watching for danger and she was walking down a jungle path. And while she was doing this, a fierce lion came after her. And the mother cow told her that the jungle was dangerous. And the baby ran away from the jungle though the woods and back to the farmyard.
Then an airplane flew and landed in the farmyard. And the door flew open and out ran three horses. And then the airplane flew to a grassy field to get some more oil and fly over the farmyard. But it didn stay there. It started up the propellers again and flew over the farmyard. But it didn get far because it didn have any gas in the gas container. So the pilot put new gas in the gas container, but before he could start flying again another person caught him.
This was written when I was 4 or 5. Like "My Big Book About Raining" I dictated the story and my mom wrote it down for me.
This was one of those childhood items that was always getting lost, refound, and put into storage for years. I remember whenever I dug it out of storage, it would never be quite like I remembered it from last time.
When I first wrote this I took it quite seriously, and for a long time after considered this the child's equivalent of "The Great American Novel". Then in 3rd grade my mom took it out of storage and read it to me again, and it was suddenly not only bad, but hilariously bad. I laughed and laughed and thought I had unintentionally written the funniest thing ever.
Now when I look at it, it seems to me neither exceptionally good nor exceptionally bad. Just typical of something a child that age would write.
Monday, May 15, 2006
My Big Book About Raining
I don't remember this one at all, but it was saved in my art portfolio with all my childhood artwork, and dated November 27, 1982 (when I would have been 4 years old). I dictated the story to my mother, who wrote it down on blank pages, and then I illustrated it (which turned out just to be just paint splotches).
There was beautiful sunshine, beautiful clouds
Bambi liked it that way. So he woke up.
Suddenly it started to do rain clouds. That happened just when Bambi woke up.
So Bambi did not go out to play. Neither did Thumper nor Flower.
It became nighttime and they went to sleep.
And outside it rained and rained.
Until the skies tumbled down to the ground.
The wind washed the clouds back up into the sky
And then the clouds fell down again
And then the water went right to the clouds and the clouds fell down to the bottom of the sea
Then the clouds washed up and tumbled down into the sea again.
Then the clouds pushed together and the rain stopped and the sun came out
And then Bambi and Flower and Thumper woke back up
Then all of a sudden it started raining again.
And then it stopped and it never, never rained again that day
So Thumper and Flower and Bambi played all day until night time.
There was beautiful sunshine, beautiful clouds
Bambi liked it that way. So he woke up.
Suddenly it started to do rain clouds. That happened just when Bambi woke up.
So Bambi did not go out to play. Neither did Thumper nor Flower.
It became nighttime and they went to sleep.
And outside it rained and rained.
Until the skies tumbled down to the ground.
The wind washed the clouds back up into the sky
And then the clouds fell down again
And then the water went right to the clouds and the clouds fell down to the bottom of the sea
Then the clouds washed up and tumbled down into the sea again.
Then the clouds pushed together and the rain stopped and the sun came out
And then Bambi and Flower and Thumper woke back up
Then all of a sudden it started raining again.
And then it stopped and it never, never rained again that day
So Thumper and Flower and Bambi played all day until night time.
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